Red Flags & Regret

We pull four relationship stories from Reddit and test the difference between love and control. From a decade-long obsession to reproductive coercion, a “virginity test” demand, and a husband who stepped over his fainted wife, we ask what partners owe each other in care, consent, and character.

• the line between persistence and pressure
• reproductive coercion as abuse, not romance
• why “tradition” never trumps bodily autonomy
• neglect as a pattern, not a one-off
• setting boundaries and planning for safety
• when to seek counselling versus when to walk

Subscribe, share, and send us your wilder stories because we're always ready to get unhinged

Chapters

• 0:00 Warm-Up Banter And Theme Reveal
• 2:14 Setting Ground Rules And Disclaimers
• 3:45 Hosts’ Relationship Histories
• 5:35 How We’ll Tackle Today’s Stories
• 6:20 Story 1: Still In Love After 10 Years
• 12:20 Takeaways: Accountability And Letting Go
• 13:20 Story 2: Tampered Birth Control And Pregnancy
• 26:30 Consent, Crime, And Safety Planning
• 32:10 Update: Termination Decision And Confession
• 35:00 Story 3: Hymen “Check” Before Wedding
• 44:50 Boundaries, Culture, And Abuse Red Flags
• 49:10 Update: She Walks And He Slaps
• 51:30 Story 4: Left On The Floor While Sick

Transcript

SPEAKER_01: 0:00

Welcome to Mum's Gone Wild, the show where Reddit meets Real Talk and Chaos meets comedy. I'm Chloe and I'm Paula. Every week we'll dive into Reddit's wildest posts and juiciest write-ins. Warning, the advice you're about to hear is completely unsolicited, mildly unhinged, and definitely not professional. But hey, we're not therapists, but that's never stopped us from giving our opinions anyway. So let's get unhinged. Before we dive in, just a quick heads up. The stories we chat about on Mum's Gone Wild are from public posts on Reddit and they belong to their original authors. We're just here to share, laugh, and give our take for entertainment and discussion, all under fair use. We also do our best to remove names or details to keep things private. If you're the original poster and you would like your story removed or credited differently, just get in touch with us. We'll happily sort it. How are you going today, Mum? I'm not too bad. I've had a nice cruisy morning. I am on holidays, so that allows me to be cruisy. I've done a bit of shopping, ducked in and out of the rain. We've had a rainy day today in Jerry, which is great. But had a good morning. What about you? Yeah, no, it's a really chill morning, just cleaning the house, pottering around. I've got cupboards now in my laundry, that's exciting. I love storage. And yeah, just sitting here at the kitchen table watching the weather outside. It's nice and sunny. It's so wintry today. Yesterday was sunny. Today's very time of the year where the weather doesn't know what it's doing. It's whether one day it's winter, the next day it's summer, and you just yeah. Anyway, it's a nice day to be recording a podcast. Yes, can't think of anything better. Shall we get into it today? Sure. Who wants to? Oh, today's theme, I should say, is relationships and relationship advice. Okay. So, mum, how long have you been married for? Oh my goodness, we've been married now for 35 years. 35 years. Okay, wow. So you've had you've got some good advice to give on going to the long term. I do have good advice, but when you've only been, you know, like you've been with one person for that long. Yeah, when did you you were 16, weren't you? Yeah, I was 16 when I met your dad.

SPEAKER_00: 2:30

Yeah, wow.

SPEAKER_01: 2:31

He stole my youth. He stole your youth. Oh, that's funny. And I I did meet him at the pub at 16, and I lied to him and told him that I was 18 at the pub, and it wasn't until about six months later he asked me how come I didn't drive a car and I personally have my license. I'm not old enough to drive. That's it. He was a goner. Yeah, and I've been with my partner for 12 years. Crazy. So that's a long time. I was 19 when I met him. Crazy. Well, Gate crushed his housewarming party and I never left. So we got married when I was 19. We got engaged on my 18th birthday, and I was married by 19.

SPEAKER_00: 3:21

Gosh, I was so young.

SPEAKER_01: 3:22

Can you imagine if a 19-year-old got married now? You kind of would be like, ooh, I want to slap her silly. Yeah. Nah, not really. Yeah, I mean, we were together for a few years beforehand. We didn't jump into it. Yeah, true. Early. Well, my baby. Early. Yeah, okay. So I reckon let's jump into some of the stories. Okay, did you want to hear the ones I've got first? And then I'll listen to yours and we can decide which one we want to hear first. Yeah, sure. Sure. Okay. So my one is the first one is my 22-year-old female birth control was tampered with by my boyfriend, 22 male. I'm pregnant and I don't know what to do. Oh that is another E. I know. 22. That's so young. Okay, and my other one is my 24 female husband, 26 male, left me, passed out on the floor while sick, then got mad at me the next morning. I see him differently now. Of course you would. Oh gosh. Okay. So two very different ones, but I think we can get our teeth into those two. 100%. And mine. Okay, and mine today are my fiance wants his father to check my hymen tomorrow night before I get married. No, I thought you'd have that reaction. No one should be checking anything there. Not your father-in-law.

unknown: 4:54

All right.

SPEAKER_01: 4:55

No, no, no. Do you know what? Not even your fiance. Like, hey honey, can you have a little check? The next one is I, 29 male, am still in love with my ex almost 10 years ago. She's 27 female. How do I win her back? I don't know if that's gonna end well for that person. How long has it been? Read it again. It was 10 years ago. And he's still in love with her? Still in love. One that got away. Oh, okay. I can't wait to hear that one. Yeah. All right. Shall we do the one for one again? Sure. Let us know, guys, if you like the one for one or if you want mum to read out her two and then I read out two. Whether yeah. Anyway. We need a coin. We'll flip a coin. Heads, you can't. Yeah, let's do this. That's all right. Okay, so your heads, I'm tails. All right, are you ready? Alright, what is it? Heads. Okay, I'm heads. So I'm going first. Yeah. Alright, I'm just gonna read in order. So let's start off with actually let's start in light. Yeah, I reckon. Not the 10-year one. Yeah, the 10-year one. We'll start in light. I've don't I don't want to shock everyone. I haven't even had a coffee yet this morning. Let's not go hymen just yet. Okay. I, 29 male, am still in love with my ex from almost 10 years ago, 27 female. How do I win her back? Years ago, I fell in love with a woman for the first time. She was truly amazing. I was young and dumb, so I messed up by cheating on her. Obviously, we broke up and then I started to date the girl I cheated on her with. We ended up even getting engaged. Unfortunately, that relationship also didn't work out. And we broke off the engagement and the relationship. Throughout relationship and that engagement, I thought about my ex very often. I'm not proud of it, but I'd even reached out to her and lied to her about being single. Strike two, buddy. Yeah. So that I could just talk to her. She did find out that I'd lied about being single. Yeah. Okay. I've been single now for a number of years. She has also been. After me, she dated another man, but he also did not treat her very kindly. Since then, she's been single and said that she's happy single because men have traumatized her. It's been about six years now since she has been single. She has no interest in dating men anymore. She's only 27, too. Actually, I wrote that down my notes. How old is she? 27. 27, yeah. We are now friends. I still am in love with her. And I have told her this multiple times. Sorry, for the dog in the background. But she continues. Hunt ha trying to read here. He's a 70 kilo dog. He just I'm just gonna close the door so I can finish. Join in on the podcast to join in the podcast too. He's got his say. Alright. He's trying to say this man's got too many red flags. Fantastic, darling.

unknown: 8:21

Okay.

SPEAKER_01: 8:21

We are now friends. I'm still in love with her, and I've told her this multiple times, but she continues to reject my advances and feelings. Do any of you have any stories about winning over the one girl that got away? And how can I win her back? How old I mean 29. So okay, let's forgive him. This was 10 years prior that they were together, correct? Yeah. So he's 19, he was a baby back then. I'm gonna cut him some slack. Like when I was first listening to that, I was thinking red flag. Don't lie. I don't know. I am somewhat forgiving over his age that he was only 19 when this all happened. But do you he's still in love with her? Yeah. Do we have any advice on how we could win her back? I was thinking that too. This is a different type of podcast than Am I the Asshole? Yes. One. So he's after actual advice. Yes. I personally want to tell the check to one one one. She's not interested. It's been six years, she's happy being single. And they're friends. He's got her, he's got her in his life. Yeah. And I think he needs to maybe do some counselling to get through. I don't know, or talk to some friends. Or be happy with just the friendship. Yeah. Okay, so I would probably to give to him would be pull off the band-aid, just tell her. Well, he has. He told her this multiple times that he's in love with her and she rejects his advances and feelings. Okay, well, that's your answer, mate. Yeah. Just go. You can't win someone back. You can't be friends with her and just only friends, which clearly you're not going to be able to. And like she said, she's traumatized from men. She actually may want comfort in just a male friendship. Or even just off men altogether because they lie and they cheat. Not all men, of course. This is just this young fella that we're talking about who has already stated that he lied to her about being in a relationship and being engaged. So like she's just clearly not. He hurt her twice. Yeah. Or not he he cheated on her when she was 19, and then wanted to talk out and was then like kind of reaching out when he was already engaged with somebody else, and that's you know, then going behind her back. So he's really having a pattern of behavior, but she's still happy to have him as a friend. So you know, I just I don't think he can really he needs to be happy with that or yeah. Anyway, top comment this is actually only fresh too, so it was only posted five hours ago. Okay, yeah. So top comment is you broke up with her because you were dishonest, and then you messed up reconnecting with her again because you continued to be dishonest. You don't win her back, dude. Leave her alone. The ship has sailed when she is happy. When she says she's happy she's single because men have traumatized her, that's you. You are literally the man in this scenario. You have aided her traumatiz in men. That's had 17 upvotes already. Although I did cut him some slack for only being 19, she too was young, and those impressionable young relationship brain pathways were damaged. And they were damaged by him. She was 17. Baby, yeah. No wonder. And following that, her partner was not very nice. So, yeah, he needs to just leave her alone. Yeah, and then the next comment says, Of course, she keeps rejecting you. You've proven multiple times that you are a liar and a cheat. And then it just kind of filters on. Everyone's on saying, let her go, my dude, there's no winning her back. You cheated on her, then you lied about being engaged. You got back in touch with her, but she has no interest in dating. I'm amazed she's still willing to be friends with you, given that you cheated on her and lied to her. Be grateful for that and don't harass her for anything else. Yeah. I think someone in one of the comments said it the ship sailed. Yeah. That's it. Sorry, mate. Leave her alone. Yes, you've done enough damage to that poor girl. All right. Moving on, Mum, you're up. I am okay. Let me get myself sorted here. Alrighty. So I'm gonna go with the one that's already up on my computer. My birth control was tampered by my boyfriend. I'm pregnant and I don't know what to do. Both uh female and male are 22 years of age. Yeah, okay. That's so young. It is, but oh, how long ago was this one done? Oh, 25 days old? Okay, so still within. Yeah. Still within I had your mum by the time I was 22. Okay. My boy, I did all that one. So we've been together three years. We are high, we were high school friends, we grew apart and ended up going to the same college, similar majors, reconnected, you can guess the rest. We've been on the rocks lately, our lifestyles don't align very well, and sometimes he treats me more like a mother than a partner, and I'm losing my patience. He is an only child and kind of a massive mumma's boy. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. His mum is nice enough, just very traditional. Until recently, I don't feel like I've had a reason to distrust her. He confides in her a lot about a relationship, sometimes an uncomfortable amount. For the past couple of months, I feel like she's been trying to plant seeds in my head about having kids when I'm alone with her. Some examples are the joy of motherhood is like nothing else. You'll understand someday. I know it's hard right now. You know, a baby might bring you closer. My husband and I fought constantly until we finally had a baby. Once you've had a baby, everything else will fall away. They're little miracle workers. Fatherhood changes people. I think let's make a shall we make our boyfriend's name? Oh, just boyfriend. What is she oh, she just calling him boyfriend? Yeah. Yeah. Just needs to experience it. That last one in regards to his irresponsibility and lack of accountability for housework. Ah, hang on. Did that make sense then? You know, fatherhood changes people. I think boyfriend's name just needs to experience it. Sounds like he's a bit of a, like she said, mama's boy. Yeah. Okay, I'm on the pill and I've been trying to get on a different form of birth control that doesn't require constant effort, like IUD injections or arm implant. But I've been unable to decide which one's right for me. My birth control comes in a blister pack. I usually pop a week's worth into a pill organiser so I could just take it with me at the same time as my other medications. I don't bother taking the sugar pills you're supposed to take during the week of your period. I keep the anti-blister packs in with the leftover sugar pills in my night stamp because I'm weird about throwing things away sometimes. What if I need a later mentality? I picked up from growing up in a doomsday prepping household. Thanks, Dad. I feel incredibly stupid now. A couple of weeks ago, I missed my period. I took a pregnancy test and saw the dreaded second line and proceeded to freak out. You have something that you want to tell me. I do. I just sorry. Is she not skipping her period? She did. She so she missed her period. But what she's doing, she's not taking those little sugar pills, which is fine. You don't have to take them. Unless she because normally, I mean it's been a while since I've been on birth control. But you take the things, and if you skip your period, that's fine, but you just keep on keeping it. Taking the pain. But we'll see what I And then you don't get a breakthrough. But you wouldn't not get a period. Well, so the thing is though, so you've got your week's worth of sugar pills. You can either choose to take them or not, you just pop them out. You still go around in the day, you're still going to get your period. The only time you miss a period is if you go from there and then you go straight to the next week and don't take, don't pop that seven back in. Yeah, so she says she's not taking her sugar pills though? She's not taking them, but she can just still chuck them in the bin, like pop this one out today, chuck it out. Okay, I'm with you. Right, okay, yeah, I'm with you now. Yeah. Oh, yeah, because you're like thinking if she just misses and goes to the next week. That's what she's getting confused with. So she's yeah, so I think there's still, I actually think they're still all in her blister pack. Like there's all these reservations, and she's just not taking it in the pill. Yep, yep, yep. Okay, excuse me. A couple of weeks ago, I missed my period. I took a pregnancy test and saw the dreaded second line and proceeded to freak out. Boyfriend was at work when I found out, so I called him immediately. I told him we need to talk and it was urgent. He didn't want to come home at first because we're not in a great situation financially, but I started bawling and begging, and I think he realized I was serious. When he got home, can you make me that distraught? Oh my god, that's just too sad. Okay. When he got home, I was sitting on the bathroom floor, I was a wreck. I cried so hard, I vomited. Anyways, Loyfring gets back to our apartment, finds me on the floor, and as soon as he sees the pregnancy test, he fucking smiles. His face lit up, and I saw red. No acknowledgement of the state I was in. The first thing he says to me, besides what's going on, was, oh my god, a baby, this is great. I wanted to put my head through the wall. I tried to explain to him through the snot and the tears and the spit that no, this was not great, and we're both full-time students with jobs. I can't take time off. I have a ton of unresolved health issues. We can barely afford the roof over our heads. I hate the idea of getting an abortion, but I'm all for it when it's someone else, just not for me, and I don't know where I can bring myself to do it. Oh, this is heavy. He left me to cool down in the bathroom for a while. Actually, I told him to get out. And I saw one of my fucking blister packs in the bathroom trash can. We don't use it very often, so we only empty it once in a while. I threw away the pregnancy test and not decide a what of toilet paper, and a silver foil caught my eye. I dug through the trash and I found seven of my regular fucking birth control pills at the bottom of the trash bag. Oh, because she doesn't take them out. She pops out a week, and remember she was saying that she puts it all into her with her rest for her medication? Yeah. So she just tips them in her hand and spoils them all at one. Oh naughty. I can't believe he not only did this to me, but also was incredibly careless. It is like he barely had tried to even hide it. I can't tell if he wanted me to find out or if he generally doesn't have anything knocking around inside his cranium besides a few rocks. Damn. I've been racking my brain to try and figure out how this could have happened. I'm so, so diligent about taking my meds. I feel so fucking stupid. The sugar pills are literally a different fucking colour. And like I take seven pills in the morning and unceremoniously dump them into my mouth. I definitely didn't look closely at them. He didn't give me a reason to think that I had to. He hadn't said anything about kits. I could tell that he was kind of trying to be better about his responsibilities lately. I thought things were just starting to finally look up when it came to the state of our relationship. We have access to each other's phones. I think he probably checked my FitFit app to find out when I was ovulating, since I tracked my period there. I don't know how else he could have known. I think I remember a few times I unlocked my phone and found that the app was open and I thought nothing of it. I confided in a few close friends about all of this. I told them everything, what he did, and how I think he did it, how I think his mum might have told him to, how fucking devastated I am and how stupid I feel. In essence, they told me I need to grow a spine and leave him. Stop going crazy and figure my shit out and decide what to do. Now, a part of me feels like I might be overreacting. I'm staying with my parents right now and they don't know what's going on. They're kind of religious, and I'm not exactly sure that how they would feel about an abortion. I don't want to bring it up because I don't know how they react. Boyfriend has been texting me nonstop, telling me to calm down, telling me to come home and talk to him. I'm so fucking lost. Sorry if this is a mess. I'm not proofreading and I just don't have the brain width right now. That's that. I cannot pick up my jaw from the floor. I know. Can you imagine being like if mum and son were conspiring together to make them have a baby? That's just so so young. They're 22, aren't they? Yeah. Yeah, 22. That's babies. That's entrapment. Yeah. Entrapment. You know, now babies are beautiful things when you're ready to have them or when you're of an age. Yeah, and sometimes they come and then you can make your life work around it. Definitely. And for some people, it doesn't feel right at that time either. Sorry. No, yeah, and I just for her choice, the choice was, and I think maybe if it was an accident like whoopsie daisy, she you know would have been devastated and then she could have come around to a chance. A mutual actual pondbreak bang. Whoopsie daisy. Both of our surely, you know. Contraception's not a fail-safe either. You know, and then they can have a discussion about it. But I think the way that he's come in, and the fact that she's found that her birth control has been tampered with, it's like it's been taken that choice has been taken away from her and somebody else is controlling her life playing God. I know I feel like I mean, I don't know, but I feel like there sh could be some sort of criminal element to this. I feel like it should be. I don't know. Like you can't tamper with somebody else's medication. No, and I'm glad she mentioned the colour thing in there as well. Because I was like, girl, um the normally the placebo pills are like white, yeah, and then like a yellowy or pinky colour for the hormone pill. But yeah, I mean, if she's popping them out and taking them with her other medications, she probably just looks for the shape shape. Yeah, like I mean, I take like a handful of multivitamins in the morning. Yeah, and but I take them all out of their little jars and bottles and pop them in my hand and you know down my throat. Whereas Dad doesn't, he does not the Webster packet, but he does all the you know the Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday. If he doesn't look at them, he spends 10-15 minutes putting them all in there, and then for the whole week he chucks them in his hand down his throat, and that's all she's doing, thinking she's doing the right thing. And then, oh, like it'll be just hard enough if it was just him, but if mother was involved is involved as well. And now the poor girl has to now like her family, she said was religious. Yes, and now she's got to deal with that. Wasn't her intention, and it sounds like she wants to continue school to 22. She's such a baby, and if it were like we said before, if it was a genuine accident, then I feel you know, sometimes it's a mutual decision what you do, yeah. You know, but quite often that decision is they have the baby and they could never think of life without that baby. But you know, if she goes on to have the baby, it's gonna be a constant reminder of the act in which it was brought upon. You know, I feel I don't know, I really feel like there's some sort of entrapment criminal. Yeah, I wouldn't be able to look at him the same way either. I don't blame her. I'd probably want it even in the relationship because if he's been able to do something as big as this, what else has he done? Oh, oh, and what is tender? What is he? Yeah, you know, will he do that again? Like I would just never trust him again. Do you have a quick edit? I've been expecting an edit. Thank you for keeping me special. That's exciting. Do we want to, though, Chloe? Would you like to hear top comments first and then I'll do the edit? Oh, do the top comments relate to the edit or is it relating to the original post? It relates to okay, it just it doesn't relate to the edit. Okay, okay, top comment. I'm not going to sugarcoat this. This is a form of sexual assault, ma'am.

SPEAKER_00: 25:16

That's heavy.

SPEAKER_01: 25:17

Okay. He is trying to force you to carry a child to turn, birth it, and then raise it without your consent. This is not a safe person to have in your life, nor is it safe to raise a child. Him and his mother, your description of his mother makes me think that they did this together, or it was even her idea. A word of advice. If you decide to terminate, tell him you miscarried. He doesn't deserve the truth, and you don't deserve whatever terrible response he and his mum would direct your way. You need to put yourself first and decide what you want your life to be. Good luck, OP. Alright, I'll do one more comment and then I'll do the edit. Okay. Alright, let me just check that this does not give away the edit. I don't think it does. OP, this man has committed a pretty serious crime against you. Knuckles. Yeah. You are not overreacting. I understand the guilt aspect of not wanting to have an abortion, and that's super valid to feel that way. However, it's worth considering that if he was willing to commit an act of sexual violence to keep you with him and doing what he wants, you really don't know what he is capable of. That's what we were saying. And you really don't know what his mother is capable of. It is common knowledge that you should not bring a child into a relationship that is struggling. It's a hard thing to do in a strong relationship, and you don't want to condemn a child to a life with these people either. You don't want to be tied to this man or his mother for the rest of your life. There are literally millions of men out there who would give you a child when you were ready, willing and most importantly, aware that this was happening. I promise you deserve so much better than this.

SPEAKER_00: 26:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 27:00

Alright. Ready for a quick edit, Chloe? You know what she did? Oh, yeah, give it to me. Okay. Give it to me. I'm terminating. I'm chronically ill. I have an extremely risky pregnancy, and I don't want to bring a kid into this environment. I've made an appointment. I'm still so scared. I also had my friend gently prod my ex over text about what happened, and he didn't even have to do much. He bent immediately saying he needed to get it off his chest and that he feels like a terrible person. In parentheses, he is. I'm leaving that goddamn scumbag and my life bar behind me. He just doesn't know it yet. Yeah, that's heavy. I can't believe he admitted to it, too. Yeah. And it didn't take much for him to bend. What a scumbag. So that is horrible. So yes, definitely, everyone, general consensus is it's a pretty serious crime. In the UK, it's considered rape. Wow. Yeah, I wonder where they're located. Definitely saying differently in what part of state or country you you're in, with him report admitting to it, report it to the police. Yeah, unless I wonder if they've got actual evidence of her. Well, her friend has it was over text message, so there should be text messages. Yeah. So there is a few more comments here by OP. She lives in a state. She says, I have a really close mutual friend with him that she's known since childhood. She's gonna ask if he'll be willing to gently prod to try and get five text, sorry, to try and get an omission or explanation. Well, she lived in the States. But was one of the comments of the UK be considered right? Yeah. She plans on filing a police report once figuring out how. Yeah, because she feels like she needs to know exactly what happened. I mean, she knows what happened, but why and how and what and she doesn't know when she's going to get that closure, but she says she'll see, and then she went on to say, yes, that she is going to terminate, she has a chronic illness, it would make it a very risky pregnancy, and that she just didn't want to bring a child into this environment. And she's the poor girl who's scared and feels guilty. Like, that's just awful to have her to be like that. Yeah, I'm glad she's pressing charges. Yeah, yeah. Definitely. That's horrific. What a piece of shit. And the mum, too. 22 years over. Oh my god. That poor girl, she's just gonna have so much like to that's traumatic. It is, and she has to live with that, and even when she is in a loving relationship and she decides, mutually decides with her partner that they want children, she's always gonna feel you know. Poor guilt. Guilty. Anyway, that's mine. One and done. If we've got time for another one, Chloe. Yeah, I think we should. We're doing well for time. Excellent. We should have time for possibly both of that. Okay, well, you're right. Okay, so my next one is oh, that's right. I'm still icked out. Oh. Okay, so this one was posted six years ago. So it says my 22 female and fiance male 25, so his her fiance 25 wants his father to check her hymen tomorrow night before they get married. Is this a religion thing? I don't know, but let's find out. My fiance proposed to me about eight months ago. We decided on having a relatively small wedding, which is in two days. Everything is going great. It seems absolutely perfect, and we're very much in love. I'm a virgin and so is he. He wanted to save it for marriage, and I wasn't fussed, so I agreed to saving it. He told me earlier that in his family, the father checks the virginity of the bride the night before the wedding. I laugh this off as it seriously sounds like a massive joke. It turns out he was dead serious. He wants me the night before to open my legs up in a small ceremony type thing. So his dad can check me while him, his brothers, and his uncle can watch so they know that I am still pure. Nah, tap out. Tap out, tap the fuck out. Tap the fuck out.

unknown: 31:44

Tap out.

SPEAKER_01: 31:46

Hell no. Yeah. I'm keeping my virginity, ain't getting near it. Told him fat chance. Good girl. Yeah, I'm going to do that. And he was begging me to go through with it and how important it is for him. He said he knew it was slightly embarrassedly embarrassing for me. But his mum did it and prove how much I love him and that I have nothing to hide. Anyway, as I'm still a virgin. I left and he was crying. It was very dramatic, to be honest. Hang on, just push pause for a second. How about we let Bride's family inspect his wiener to make sure it's decent enough to break her virginity? Let's bring it, let's bring sisters and aunties and look at that thing. Grandma, let's slap it out on the table. Let's have a look. We'll make a ceremony, we'll put flowers and shit around, champagne. We can do that. Take measure. Yeah. Oh, sorry. Karen, I'm still a bit flustered. I want to call off the whole wedding because of this and never talk to him again. But at the same time, it's only one thing, and other than that, we are genuinely perfect for each other. And I don't want to spend my life with anyone else. And it is very important to him and his family. What the frick frack? What the frick frack? Is that what she said or is that you? No, that's what she said. Damn, I like frick frack. Yeah, same. What the frick frack do I do? I'm currently at my friend's house and I might stay here for the night. Tomorrow would be our last day as an unmarried couple, and I'm straight up panicking. Oh honey. That's some heavy, juicy decision she has to make. And it's quick. I do know what we need to do. We need to do like a side Google search just to see what sort of reasoning behind why. And if it what sort of culture it is that that's okay to let Uncle, brothers, everyone look in your hoo-ha to see if you're being honest or not. I mean, I don't want to judge cultures because that's like no, no, I'm yeah, that's what I know, but I still feel like that's why we need to Google it to get out there. You're gonna have that on your search history now, too. Yay! My algorithm is going to be so much fun now. What culture? In front of whatever, just all right. So I've just done a quick search and it says that traditionally performs a hymen inspection publicly in front of male relatives, like brothers, uncles, and potential husband is a ceremonial practice. It's called like virginity testing, yeah, and it's not scientifically valid as hymen's appearance are not a reliable indicator of sexual activity. The who and UN have strongly condemned, oh, condemned, not commended. Recommended, we all do this, yeah. No, definitely not. They have condemned such practices. So this is six years ago? Is that yeah? Yeah. So examples of practices involving virginity checks are parts of South Asia, Middle East, North Africa, certain tribal or rural communities. And yeah, it's documented as human right abuse. We've got some reports of it happening in Afghanistan, Indonesia, and North Africa, but they're all widely condemned now. Yeah, so that's like 20. What are we now? 25. So that's like, yeah, still 20th century. It's come too far for it. Women have we've evolved much more than to be in some ceremony having people looking up. Yeah. And also, too, can you imagine at a family barbecue and father-in-law sitting there? Nah, nah. Father-in-law sitting there, and always meowing what you got up your skirt. Top comment, let's have a look. And I feel like it's some sort of sexual abuse, too. You shouldn't be showing anybody anything. Okay, top comment is this tradition in 6699 is disgusting. He is essentially asking you to expose yourself to every male in his family. It's nuts. Not to mention Reek's control and abuse. Yep. Some traditions are beautiful and fun, some traditions are demeaning and disgusting. This tradition is one that needs to die. I can't imagine being a father and wanting to look at my son's wife's private parts. I can't imagine wanting my father to look at my wife's private parts. What the fuck are they thinking? Yeah. Not good. Let there be an update. There's an update.

unknown: 37:07

Thank you.

SPEAKER_01: 37:09

Cannot go through with the rest of this day thinking there's women out there. Alright. Please don't. Please don't do it. First of all, thank you so much for all of the replies. I didn't think this would get so big. I have read pretty much all of them. Special shout out goes to the person who says that this was fake solely on the fact that I write like a man. Whatever that means. Also, thanks for all the gold and silver. It's appreciated. Although, if you want to spend money, give it to charity or something. So people can actually like donate money and things on here. Yeah. If you didn't know. I went and talked to him this morning and I told him that his father is not going to look at me and he needs to respect that. He was adamant that it needs to happen and accused me of lying about my virginity. I was trying to be calm and rational, but he was not having it and just became more and more angry. I told him if he really loved me, he would stand by me on this and tell his father no, to which he slapped me and said he didn't need to prove anything. So I ended it and left him.

SPEAKER_00: 38:18

I'm currently back at my friend's house being miserable and eating pizza, which is pretty fun. So yeah. Thanks.

SPEAKER_01: 38:24

And your knickers are on and no one else is looking up your hoo-ha. Yeah, thank God she didn't lose her virginity. This slack trick. Can you imagine if she married him? Oh, I'm so glad she got out of there. Well done, girl. That's heavy. Well done. Yeah, someone said, wow, just as controlling as we expected. To accuse you of lying and then slap you is real fucking bold on his part.

SPEAKER_00: 38:50

Good work getting rid of him. You'll be much better off. Glad you have a good friend on your side.

SPEAKER_01: 38:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 38:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 38:58

Dodged our bullet. 100%. Alright. I think we've got time for yours, mum. Okay. You're doing well for time. We're managing baby on our hips. Well, she's trying to grab our microphones. Exactly. I do have mine up here, but I can't see whether there's an update on there at all. That's okay. We'll read it. All right. My 24 female husband, 26 male, left me passed out on the floor while sick and then got mad at me the next morning. I see him different now. All right, ship sail for her. She already married him. Okay, we'll give this guy the benefit of the doubt for now. Let's read on. Okay, we've been married a few years and have a baby. We have relationship issues after the baby, but I thought that we resolved them and he promised that he would be better at all. He did get better. He did share around the house and do house tours, but not really a big issue because he does what he needs to do without complaint or comment. Okay. Big job, mate. Big job. Well done. Okay. Something at the back of my head felt off. I've never really explored the nagging feeling, but now I realize that he never showed me any extra care. In fact, he gets upset or easily frustrated with me if I cause extra inconvenience. I'm not sure how I didn't notice this until now. Two days ago, I think I got sick. I was feeling that gross, thick skin feeling and vertigo, lightheaded. By the time night came around, I was shivering and freezing. Yep, I think I was still able to function, so I didn't think much of it. Complained to my husband about it, and then we went to sleep. Yesterday I woke up feeling like my bones were lead. I don't know how I functioned yesterday, but I felt like I was on autopilot. My boss messaged me with some tasks, so I did them on my phone before my baby woke up. I rolled out of bed and then somehow took my sister to school. Came back and then worked some more. Usually I have energy to flip between being a mum and working. But yesterday I just laid on the floor to work while my one-year-old watched some Miss Rachel.

SPEAKER_00: 41:13

Oh Miss Rachel. Oh, she's YouTube. She sings and she's like Miss Rachel.

SPEAKER_01: 41:20

Okay. Then I had to pick my sister up from school, come home, make dinner, and by the time my husband came home, I felt dead on my feet. Anytime I moved, I felt like I was lagging and my body couldn't keep up. I told my husband this a few times. We ate, I put away the leftovers, put baby to sleep while my husband went to his office to do some quick work. After this, I don't really remember because my brain was foggy. I found myself in his office. We exchanged a few words. I don't remember what. Next thing I knew, I woke up alone on his office floor. I felt so heavy and out of it. It took so much effort to get up. But when I got out, the lights were off, the kitchen was untouched, and he was in bed.

unknown: 42:04

Fuck off.

SPEAKER_01: 42:06

She's like, sounds like she's passed out in his office. He's just like stepped over the top of her and gone out, turned the lights on.

SPEAKER_00: 42:11

He was in the office.

SPEAKER_01: 42:12

Yeah, she was talking to him.

SPEAKER_00: 42:16

Oh my god, he sounds so horrible.

SPEAKER_01: 42:20

That's like a movie. Okay, hang on a minute. I don't even know where I'm up to now because I've got a bit quick work. I woke up on his office floor. I felt so heavy, blah blah blah blah blah. There we go. So yes, so she felt so heavy and out of it. By the time she got up, the lights were all off, the kitchen was not touched, and he went to bed. So stepped over her, left the kitchen, everything out, and then gone to bed. Rock star. Check for a pulse. Oh, this poor woman, my gosh. And she'd already told him numerous times throughout the day she didn't feel well. Clean too.

unknown: 42:57

Yes.

SPEAKER_01: 42:58

I just stood in the kitchen and realized that he just doesn't care. I already knew he wasn't going to clean the kitchen tomorrow and that he didn't care that I fell off. I'd had a busy day plan and I didn't have time to do all the washing and do the dishes the next day. So I loaded the dishwasher and then I went off to bed.

SPEAKER_00: 43:18

It's a hard enough being sick as a like parent anyway.

SPEAKER_01: 43:22

Just being a normal person just looking after yourself and kids and sisters that she is taking care of. And then a husband that steps over you while you're like on the floor. Thanks for turning the lights off. Don't want to waste electricity while I'm passed out on the floor.

SPEAKER_00: 43:36

Sorry, continue.

SPEAKER_01: 43:37

Okay. Loaded the dishwasher and went to bed. I laid down and five minutes later, my husband very angrily told me to turn the lights off in the kitchen. At this point, I had no energy to deal with him, so I ignored him and was asleep. The next morning, today, I woke up covered in sweat and that gross feeling was gone. That's when I realized that I was sick. My husband was upset with me. This is super woman, she doesn't get sick very often. Okay, my husband was upset with me. He wouldn't talk or look at me and was stomping around. I tried to ask him about yesterday, but he just grumbled something about me confusing him. Everything from yesterday caught up, and I just can't see him the same. I realize that he's never taken care of me or done anything that was inconvenient for him. I've been sick before, and every time it's the same thing. He gets upset at me somehow. After I had a baby, he was upset that nothing was kept around the house. Yet he got angry with me when I fainted from over exertion at two weeks postpartum. I remember him yelling at me that I did this to myself and it was my fault for not taking care of myself, even though just two days before he was telling me that he was angry with me for not keeping up with the laundry and that I needed to clean the kitchen because it was starting to smell and he didn't want to cook anymore. Don't even get me started on how he never woke up at night. So clearly he doesn't get up to Bub's either. Yeah. Oh my god. He smells like a real keeper. Yeah, yeah. All these memories just hit me, and now I'm just disgusted by him. How did I not see this? What do I even do? I'm going to stop here because or before the post gets too long. Oh, this post. I'm gonna stop here before the post gets too long. Oh, I thought that you were just like I'm just gonna stop. That's it, I'm done. No, no, no. Yeah, okay. Wow. There's a little edit that which doesn't really, it's not like a thing. So we can read the top comments and stuff like that. But there is just little edit. She's just so let's just revisit everything that she's been through. She's sick, she's dizzy, she fell off, she still managed to work, she took her on the floor, took her sister to school, come back, did all the baby stuff, cooked dinner, tried to tell him again that she was sick, fainted on the floor. Unloaded the dishwasher, loaded it. Well, because he just walked around her and went straight to bed. Okay, so then she's disgusted by him, she can't even see him the same way, blah, blah, blah. He's just texted her. He said, I feel beat and I could barely brush my teeth this morning. She's like, I don't even know. I don't even know how to respond to this. She's just like, I can't believe that I took care of this man every time he got sick two days and after surgeries. He sounds like, what'd you say, a real keeper? But then that's kind of like all I yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_00: 46:41

So when was it posted? 17 days ago. Let's see if we go on to so it's not a throwaway account.

SPEAKER_01: 46:48

Yeah. Oh, it is a throwaway. Yeah. So that's it. We don't have any updates from that. No, no updates. Oh well, hopefully it is seven days, 17 days old, so hopefully she might do an update. Yeah, we'll keep an eye on it. And yeah, I mean, and if OP's listening to this, then they might like to. Yeah, yeah. She definitely needs to not go backwards. Like, she's got to a point now where she's seeing everything through new eyes, it sounds like she's realizing, oh, hang on, I take care of him all the time. I am like, I'm just like any woman that has had a baby or is like anything, like any woman just in general, deserves so much more than they get from their husbands sometimes. Like this guy's an actual piece of work. Everything changes when you fall pregnant, like everything, and we have to learn to adapt to that and include our partners in that new adaptation of us and our new selves and our new hormones. Our bodies change, and we need to adapt to be okay and to like our bodies. A lot of women don't like their bodies, and men. Do you know what I mean? Like, it's just it's so much adapting. We have to evolve and adapt all the time, and yet we take our partner with us on this new adaptation of ourselves, and hopefully, they join us on the journey. Some men just don't, yeah. They don't do the journey with us, and they just stay in their stay how they need to like they want to be then parented as well. Yeah, like how on earth is she supposed to keep house? How on earth is she supposed to keep the baby going and him going, and then also to get yelled at for not taking care of herself? It's just it's ridiculous. I couldn't imagine being with someone like that. Nah, I just hope she stays strong. I hope she stays strong and is like she gets his F out of there disgusted by himself anyway. She may as well like even if they like try to do couples counselling, I don't think he has anything to add to it. He like he's not doesn't sound like he's started out with she just needs to tap out, see you later. Can you imagine being in a room with your partner and you were that sick that you she's passed out? She said she doesn't remember anything, just waking up off the floor. The lights have all been turned. Can you imagine that? Waking up thinking, hang on a minute, how long have hey, how long have I been down here for? And then you wake up, turn the light on the kitchen, and all the meal that you prepare, it's all still there. Like he's done nothing in the kitchen. I just cannot believe that. I just cannot picture that happening in my household. I remember choking on a panodol once, you know, the dissolvable panodol.

SPEAKER_00: 49:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 49:50

Went down. I got choked. Your dad nearly had a fucking heart attack. And he didn't step around me, and then that was it. You know, like a bit of panic, mate. A bit of it.

SPEAKER_00: 50:05

And I don't think anybody stepped over the top of it.

SPEAKER_01: 50:07

I'll just okay. As you wear, Chloe, we'll just keep going. Nah, okay. Ah, I hope she updates us with that. She's got this new life with her. She didn't say that she's looking after a sister, but she said she had to take her sister to school and pick her up, so maybe sister stays with her for a little bit. But like you, your sister, and your baby.

SPEAKER_00: 50:28

Get the hell out of the house.

SPEAKER_01: 50:29

Or kick him out anyway.

SPEAKER_00: 50:31

Yeah, kick him out. That's a no from me.

SPEAKER_01: 50:36

Yeah, it's a no from me. I'm gonna put him in the am I the asshole category and say yes. Oh, hello. Hey yes, anyway, that's it for me. That's episode two, done and dusted. Yeah, episode two. Next week, I think we've got a pretty good one, too. And so that was relationships and relationship advice.

unknown: 50:59

Okay.

SPEAKER_01: 51:00

How much time we got left? We've got any more time to chat. You're going on a holiday. I am we're going.

SPEAKER_00: 51:07

Well, I've got to go now. I've got to start packing up the kids' stuff and my stuff and get ready to go camping. So that's what I'm excited.

SPEAKER_01: 51:15

Get away for a few days. That's fine. It's gonna be good fun. I'm excited, but I think I can hear my baby in the background getting hungry. Yeah. She's just trying to start. Can you not? She's starting to you're watching this cliff. She's trying to crawl. She is tight. She's moving. Remember, you're only seven months old. She's face planting. All right, until next time, Chloe. Love you. Love you. All right. And that's today's dose of chaos on Mum's Gone Wild. Thanks for diving into Reddit's Madness with us. I'm Chloe and I'm Paula. Remember, we're not therapists, just two mums with zero filters and too many opinions. So subscribe, share, and send us your wilder stories because we're always ready to get unhinged. Until next week, stay sane or at least stay entertained. Bye.