Mums Gone Wild

Chaos, Clocks & Consequences

• Chloe • Season 1 • Episode 1

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Two mums tackle four AITA rabbit holes: hygiene and dignity, fertility timelines and ultimatums, grief and social media, and a co‑parenting clash at midnight. We trade hot takes for humane ones, weighing consent, safety, money, and mental health with clear boundaries and practical steps.

• why we started and how we choose stories
• when hygiene is health and how to raise it kindly
• the cost of periods and mental health’s role in self‑care
• updates: support, therapy, then a breakup
• baby timelines, IVF planning, and fair ultimatums
• selling property before starting solo motherhood
• dating within a family orbit and managing grief reactions
• social media reveals versus private conversations
• co‑parenting logistics, safety, and backup plans
• documentation, neutral handovers, and staying calm

So subscribe, share, and send us your wild stories because we’re always ready to get unhinged again next week


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Chloe:

Welcome to Mum's Gone Wild, the show where Reddit meets real talk and chaos meets comedy. I'm Chloe. I'm Paula. And every week we'll dive into Reddit's wildest post and juicious writings. Warning, the advice you're about to hear is completely unsolicited, mildly unhinged, and definitely not professional. But hey, we're not therapists, and that's never stopped us from giving our opinions anyway. So let's get our hands back. I thought we would start off with sorry, just got my seven-month-old here with us. Yes. So wild.

Paula:

So wild.

Chloe:

So I thought I'd start off today by asking Mum, why did we start a podcast?

Paula:

Well, Chloe, why not? We ring each other every day. We're on the phone at least 12 to 13 times a day talking about life and all its antics. We listen to podcasts, we share podcasts. So we thought, why not do our own podcast?

Chloe:

Yeah, I couldn't have said it better myself. We uh yeah, we live and breathe podcasts. So we thought we'd give it a well, give it a try and see how it goes. You'll never know if you don't try. That's right. All right, so let's get into the stories.

Paula:

Okay, Chloe. Do you want me to go first or do you want to go first today? I've got two. I can tell you what they are. We can listen to yours and we can make a decision.

Chloe:

Yeah, okay. You tell me the title of yours. Okay, and then I'll tell you something. I've got two titles. Okay, two.

Paula:

All right, two titles. Is this comes from the Reddit account Am I the Arsehole? Am I the Arsehole for refusing to pick up my four-year-old from my ex. Oh, good one. Or am I the asshole for planning my pregnancy behind my boyfriend's back?

Chloe:

Oh. They're both really good. They're so juicy. Let's go with. Well, do you want me to read you mine as well? You read yours. All right, so I've chosen two stories as well. So am I the asshole for pointing out my girlfriend's bad hygiene?

Paula:

Oh saucy.

Chloe:

Or yeah, and am I the asshole for dating my ex's wife's late brother? Wife.

Paula:

Let me process that one. This is where the generation thing comes into it. All right, we've got Indy's not really happy with that one. So let's say it again.

Chloe:

Okay, so am I the asshole for dating my ex's wife's late brother's wife? Oh.

Paula:

I reckon we go. Let's do that one. That one sounds spicy.

Chloe:

Do you want to read that one first or shall we start with yours?

Paula:

Oh, up to you. We can do mine.

Chloe:

Yeah, okay. Or maybe we can do one for one.

Paula:

Okay, one for one.

Chloe:

Sounds good.

Paula:

All right, someone has to hold our little junior.

Chloe:

I'll go first while you're holding Junior. Okay. There. Okay. So we're going to do which one? Girlfriend's bad hygiene? Yep, do girlfriend's band. Let's start off with a little start off with a let's ease our way into it. I don't know if this is easing our way into it just given the title that girlfriend's bad hygiene.

Paula:

I haven't read it.

Chloe:

Okay. So this is Am I the Asshole for pointing out my girlfriend's bad hygiene? Advice needed. I, male 28, have been dating my girlfriend, female 27, for seven months now. I went full exclus we went full exclusive three months ago. She's everything smart, kind, caring, and drop dead gorgeous to me. However, she has the worst hygiene. Then Nathane, how do you say that word, Nathan?

Paula:

Yeah, it's Nathan. It's like a case.

Chloe:

It's case man. Yes, that's the one. She lives in a studio apartment, so it's small. Since started dating her, I've avoided spending time there because it's always dirty. But I've never said anything because it's her place. She does not shower often and has strong B.O. Like bad enough that I won't have sex with her unless she's recently showered. You should see Mum's face.

Paula:

That's only because I just learned a new word about unheimed Genius sex the other day. Would you like to share? Oh, okay, girls. Sorry for this. But if you don't keep your hoo-ha in check and there's a little bit of toilet paper residue, it could be known as being that you've got a little clitty litter. Well, get that one out of your brains. Clity litter. You know what I mean?

Chloe:

It's got a nice ring to it.

Paula:

It does.

Chloe:

Anyway, here's where it gets bad. She's on her period, and three days ago, she was having a really rough day. So I called her and asked her to come stay at my place until she feels better. That I can't cook and take care of so that I can. There's sorry, it's there's some spelling mistakes in here, so it's a little bit hard to read. So that I can take care of her and allow her to rest. She was she was take she took the week off from work because it was so bad. Poor darling. She came to my place and didn't bring any feminine hygiene products.

Paula:

Oh dear.

Chloe:

Yeah. I have to run to the store at 3 a.m. to get her stuff because she's been wearing the same pad for so long that it's leaked on my bed. I didn't say anything as she was so stressed. The next day I came home from work and she'd put the pad from the previous night on the bathroom floor without it even wrapped. I was pissed and I called her out on it. Hey, that's gross. I don't want to look at that while I go use the bathroom. She got really mad and said that I called her gross. I clarified that having a period is not gross, it's a natural thing, but leaving a bloody pad on the floor of someone's home is nasty. She lost it and made and said I made her feel gross and bad. Was I an asshole for calling her out? What do you think?

Paula:

Man, oh man, there is a lot to unpack there. I don't know. I we and I brought you guys up. We're like, we probably oh this noise is from our little our little helper today. We have more, we probably have shower too much. We shower twice a day. Yeah. And you know, studies do say that's not good for your skin. It dries your skin out. So when she first can I have the highlighter for her hand, please first started talking about not showering every day. I'm like, oh that's okay. Like if you're not busy when you've got BO. Does I say how old they are?

Chloe:

Yeah, so at the beginning it says male 28 and girlfriend 27.

Paula:

Oh, see, I was thinking if she was in teenage years, you do get a bit of body odor. She's old enough. I feel like this is actual, yeah, like a real hygiene stuff. I'd like to see.

Chloe:

Especially when you know, period though. Like wouldn't you want to shower? Like Yeah, that's just all and wearing this, like I don't know, wearing the same pattern.

Paula:

You can even tap it out for just rolled up toilet paper if you were desperate. Yeah. Just not wear the same one. Like she's yeah, like she could be getting some nasty yeast infection or anything. Yeah, what's that?

Chloe:

That one that you can get that toxic. Oh, um, that comes from tampons having certain for too long.

Paula:

Oh my god, what is that called? It's toxic shock syndrome.

Chloe:

Yeah, yeah, no, I I mean they could come into things that she might not be able to afford. He said that her studio is really small, it's quite dirty. I don't know, maybe she hasn't got the mental health, maybe.

Paula:

Yeah, yeah, 100%. Mental health could definitely play a card in that.

Chloe:

So I'm thinking, you know, you can, you know, women's hygiene things are quite expensive.

Paula:

They are why they're not on the PBS. PBS, if you don't know what PBS is, the public benefit scheme. So things like now. Oh, we're just doing a little so where where we left off was the PBS. So that's where you get pharmaceutical medications and things like that that are cheaper, but generally they prescribe prescribe medications. And but like for tampons and sanitary goods, it's disgusting that we have to pay eight, nine dollars if not more. And depending on your flow, I mean, sometimes you need more than a box. So, you know, sometimes you can be out like twenty-thirty dollars each time you have a cycle, yeah. For something that we we we never chose, it's just handed down to us as we are women. Yeah, exactly.

Chloe:

Yeah, so I suppose you know that could all come into it. But is he the arsehole for calling her out on it?

Paula:

How did like going back? How did he say, did he just get angry? Because he said he was like really pissy about seeing it. He was pissed sanitary pat on the floor.

Chloe:

Um sorry, just pause for a second. I we've got two, we're not in a studio, we're sitting at my kitchen table with a seven-month-old, there's a four-year-old, a dog in the background.

Paula:

So when we say we're mums and two generations, so I'm mum, Chloe's my daughter, she's got her daughters, and she's a breastfeeding mum. So we're just doing it all, we're making that work.

Chloe:

So if you hear background noises, that's where it is. Coming from, he said that he was. I was pissed, and I called her out on it and I said, Hey, that's gross. I don't want to look at that while I have to go use the classroom, which is fair. I don't 100%.

Paula:

So let's rewind. I feel like he was frustrated with this behaviour, the fact that she didn't shower, the fact that she does have BO, the fact that sometimes he doesn't want to have sex with her because of her hygiene, which I can understand.

Chloe:

Like it's even nasty.

Paula:

Yeah, they're not, yeah, they're not like inexperienced, they're both in their late 20s. Yeah, no, you know, so you're still. He could have somehow started to make headway with saying simple things like, or hey, let's have a shower together, let's make it romantic, you know. Like started encouraging fun ways of keeping hygiene without without wanting to hurt her feelings, and make the showering experience a really nice, beautiful experience. And then, hey, I haven't changed my sheets for a while, let's change my sheets together, and then we can snuggle, everything feels better in clean sheets. I feel like maybe he could have tiptoed his way in until getting to the point where it was beyond ridiculous, and he's just called her gross.

Chloe:

Yeah, um, yeah, I don't think he needed to call her gross.

Paula:

No, and like you said, Chloe, you said that you know, if she's tackling some, you know, mental health, self-esteem and or any of those things in life, you know, like kind of maybe tread a little carefully.

Chloe:

Yeah. Before we move on, because we do have an update. I just want to say she might not have had maybe a mum around to show her these things or a woman.

Paula:

You don't even know the background.

Chloe:

Yeah, because you know, some you learn. Anyway, update. Okay, cool. Yay. Okay, so update almost a month later. Okay. As many of you have pointed out, there was a lot more to the issue than simply oh, we forgot to do top comments. Oh, okay. Should we go on to that or shall I read the update first? No, top comments. Top comments. Sorry, top comments.

Paula:

Sorry, first time virgin.

Chloe:

Okay, the top comment has been removed by the moderator. It did have 25,000 upvotes, but was removed. Unfortunately, I can't see that one. But the next one is wiping my ass is natural too, but I don't leave paper on the bathroom floor.

Paula:

Feckle.

Chloe:

Yeah. Yeah.

Paula:

Even when you're out in the bush, you still bury it.

Chloe:

Yeah, so like the common, the common thing from what I can see is that he's not the asshole. A lot of people are saying, Well, fuck, that's gross. You know, someone said, was he like three years old? Gross is what he said.

Paula:

I think let's give him some credit. I've got two sons. I just I would hope that they, like we were talking about before, Chloe, maybe tiptoed into it. Yeah. They made cleanliness a little bit more of a fun.

Chloe:

Yeah. Yeah.

Paula:

A fun adventure, more so than a chore.

Chloe:

Um, lots of comments about people saying why are bathrooms so horrific, which is true. Bathrooms are nasty, especially public bathrooms. Oh, they are public bathrooms. But this is her bathroom, isn't it? His bathroom. He she's staying at his house because she's having a rough week with her period. Yeah. He went out at 3 a.m. to buy her some sanitary pads. Yeah. And then in the morning, she'd left her like used soaked one on the floor. On the floor. Girl, find a bin.

Paula:

Yeah. Wrap it up in toilet paper, find a bin.

Chloe:

Yeah, not that hard.

Paula:

No.

Chloe:

Anyway, update, sorry. As many of you had pointed out, there was a lot more to the issue than simply being a slob. She's now getting professional help for her mental health issues and the trauma from early childhood. She's been through enough to break any person. I'm grateful for those who suggested that her mental health be checked. And I'm also grateful I didn't run from her like many were suggesting. A lot has improved, hygiene-wise. She was doing an amaz she's doing amazing. She of course needs some reminders and encouragement, but she gets things done. And relationship-wise, we're both happier. Oh yay, what a good story. Yeah, I didn't actually read the updates, I read the story, but I left updates so I could be genuinely surprised or horrified. But that's a nice outcome.

Paula:

I do like that one. Yay for us. That was a nice first one. But there's a new update. Oh stop it. Oh, I thought we were going out on a winner. New updates. Oh man.

Chloe:

We broke up.

Paula:

Oh, stop.

Chloe:

It's over. She had a major meltdown a day ago and accused me of forcing her to get help for things she doesn't want help for and accused me of controlling her. Too much. She gave me an ultimatum, and I don't do ultimatums. Instead of calmly explaining her point. So I told her goodbye and good luck, and she left and told me to go fuck myself.

Paula:

Oh, honey, that's a bit sad. He tried. Yeah. He's not the arsehole. If we're going to say not the arsehole, he really tried to. Yeah, he did try. And sometimes you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink. 100%. And if she's she obviously enjoyed a little bit of the help that she was getting by the first update, but maybe just too much. And then she's obviously maybe started to question who she was, and he's just changing too much and changing her too much and what have you. But you know, for whatever reason, they crossed each other's paths, and hopefully he's helped her in a way that she might look at you know, looking into her hygiene a bit better, and he might understand that you know sometimes people come with mental health and talk about those things as well.

Chloe:

Yeah. Oh, okay. I know. That was a roller coaster. It was. That was a rollercoaster.

Paula:

It was an R. I like that one. Shall we listen to one of your stories now? Sure. Okay. Which one did we decide on? Am I the arsehole for refusing to pick up my four-year-old from my ex, or am I the arsehole for planning my pregnancy behind my boyfriend's back? I think that one that sounds juicy because how do you plan it? Like, you know, like an accident? You can like just go off the pill or something and just think about it. Yeah, but like to intentionally plan and trap someone is. Okay, let's see. This is a long one. Very, very long people. Buckle up. I should have brought two drinks over, Chloe, not just one. Okay, me 35 and my boyfriend 36 have been together for about four years. Life has been good, not perfect. But I but I knew a thought need. I don't know what this one's trying to say here. Yeah, have a look, Chloe. But I knew a thought need.

Chloe:

But I I need I thought maybe I thought I needed to write write my problems to Reddit.

Paula:

Okay. Okay. We're gonna forgive this person for their weird little writing. Okay. Oh, as you just know, both Chloe and I work at the education department, so we're all over this whole spelling mistake thing. Okay, but here we are. English is not my first language. This is a scrap account. Okay. Faith in you is restored. Love. All right. In the beginning, I have been clear about everything and that I want children from day one. That's a nice opening line for your new boyfriend, isn't it? Yeah. Hey, I'm Paula. I want kids. Yeah. Okay, getting back to the story. I even asked him if he wanted children, and I remember he nodded and said, yes, good to go. We brought a house for we brought a house for some three years ago, and I've been trying to do my best to pull my weight. I do have ADHD, so doing things that same sis I I'm not used to is a massive struggle. Also, I have a new job that's treated me like scrap metal for the last three years. That's another story for another time. Now I have a new job where I feel comfortable, and we are just renovating our leaking roof. So told boyfriend to bang me pregnant now. Okay. So romantic. And he's like, I'm not sure I want children. My soul left my body. We talked some more, and I asked him what he means. I asked him if my communication has been lacking. You know I want children, right? Yeah, yeah. But he doesn't want to bring children into the house that isn't complete. And he wants to find another job so that he can be a good dad and be more present. He wants to find a new job before I even get pregnant. The house is standing, it's warm during winter, it's cool during summer, and we all have water and we've got a roof, and that's it isn't leaking, it's not falling apart. Anyway, I'm 35 years. I want kids now. I wanted kids several years ago. I wanted kids before turning 30. I asked my boyfriend if he really has been standing there for four years, not thinking about our future. So this is all caps. So I gave him the ultimatum. Ultimatum? He has six months. I'm getting an incoming call. Oh, I'll pause. I gave him the ultimatum. He has six months to decide if he wants children, and he has to be honest. I was clear what I want with children, with or without him, and my goal is to be pregnant in 2026. Oh, cool. So this isn't very old. I didn't even check to see that, whether it was very old or not. No excuses. I even told him that I that I can throw this relationship to the wall for children. I can leave him the way I left my dad and my previous relationship. Oh Jesus. Bam. I don't want to be 40 and pregnant, and I'm not going to be 80 and alone. I want a family. He was calm and understanding. We weren't yelling, we're just having a deep conversation, but I was quite stressed. So for the past few weeks, I've been asking him about the ultimatum. And I haven't really been thinking about it yet. Oh, I think that's what he said. This is just all weirdly written. He hasn't really been thinking about it yet. And I've asked him if we should start to save up for a child, and he said, nah, it's better if we put that money on the house so that we can complete it. I was honest and I told him that it feels like he doesn't even want children. And he said he just needs time. He promises to be honest. She gave him six months, didn't she? She did. Yeah. She gave him six months. Just put a pin in that. I also promise that I to not stop my contraception. Ding ding ding ding ding. So I don't take this situation for granted. I have this looming feeling in my stomach that this ain't gonna work. How can someone go for four years and shrug his shoulders and not even think about children? While I'm stressing here and having deep feelings about my future children, I've been mentioning children from time to time. So I haven't been quiet about it. I know my trauma and ADHD makes my communication bad, but dot dot dot dot. I think I was quite clear when I said I wanted children. He said he knows that I want children and said I've been clear about that. I just want to scream. So am I the butthole? I started to say for children. I have a job that pays for what I'm worth and I feel safe at work. I've been looking into IBF clinics and even called a few just to hear what they say and how it works. The cost of how to pick out a sperm donation, etc. I've talked to some friends and my brother about my situation, and they are all supportive if I become a single mum. I counted my money and my economy, and I can economically handle single mum life. I have a name, I have a list of names I like, and I have a list of things to buy for baby's first year. Right now I'm actually considering to use these six months to just save the money and build on the house so that it can be sold for as much money possible. I'm not sure how honest I dare to be, but dot dot dot, I think I've lost my attraction to my BF. 36-year-old man who shrugs his shoulders and doesn't know or care about my stress and my want for children. I feel like he takes me for granted. This man probably has no idea that I'm planning my pregnancy and saving money. But the other day he talked to me about how to build a TV sound room. So I stared at him. I want to build a room for a baby. I feel bad planning my pregnancy behind his back, and I'm not even sure I want him anymore. I want to continue to plant seeds into his brain and remind him about children. I'd rather not be a single mum. Or should I just plan my life behind his back? I could be a mum within seven months if I do this alone. That thought of alone makes me super happy. So what was that? I could be a mum within seven months if I do this alone. That thought alone makes me super happy. But I do feel like a butthole for planning my pregnancy behind his back. Man, that was a read.

Chloe:

It was, and a lot, because you know, I'm glad she's not trying to trap him because when we said the contraception thing, I was thinking it was going to take another turn, but she's thinking, No, I'll, you know, I'll can do it myself.

Paula:

I almost feel like she's answered her own questions in here. She said that she's losing attraction for her boyfriend. Yeah.

Chloe:

And she's just hanging around for what to get the house to make value so that when they separate, I don't know where they are, but in here in Australia with de facto, you're together for like, is it six months? Yes, it's the same rights as marriage. Marriage, you're right, correct. So you know, is she doing that? So if they sell the house, it's worth more, she's got more money. Yeah, yeah, I don't know. That's it's a lot. I mean, like, I can understand the wanting a baby unless the clock is ticking, yeah.

Paula:

She'll be stalking people with prams and stuff like that.

Chloe:

Oh, 100%. And you know, if you know I've known I know of people that have done it themselves, and you know, that they couldn't find someone to have a baby with, so they've done it themselves.

Paula:

Yeah, no, 100%. And kudos to those women. Like I think that's amazing. But like I I I actually feel like she's checked out. Yeah, she's yeah, she's got a new focus in life. It's not the house, it's not her partner. Because she gave her boyfriend six months, and I think she's been on it him.

Chloe:

But I mean, four years is enough time, really. Like and he said that he did want kids. Yeah, and he now he's changed his mind. I mean, I don't know, I don't really like ultimatums, really. I mean, you can have boundaries. Boundaries are a thing, but ultimatums, yeah. I mean, yeah, some people see boundaries as an ultimatum, but I think if it's worded in a way that is an ultimatum-y, and he needs to be honest too.

Paula:

Like, if he doesn't want to have children, then just be honest, just say it, stop wasting her time. Yeah, exactly. She's not gonna let it go. That biological clock, once it's starts ticking, it's like a dog with a bone.

Chloe:

Yeah, and it's like yeah, it's not gonna give up. Yeah, it consumes your mind. If you want a baby, that it consumes your mind. And was she 35 now? I think it's a 36 or 35.

Paula:

She's already a geriatric pregnancy. Yeah. Hit the 38. As soon as you're 35, you it fall into the bra bracket of being geriatric pregnancy. So there's risk.

Chloe:

You've become a high-risk pregnancy.

Paula:

And she probably the way she wants, she probably doesn't want one. She probably is gonna consecutive, so yeah, like he either needs to jump on board, but you know, if she has I wouldn't do it behind his back. I don't think she's the asshole, but I think she needs to be upfront.

Chloe:

Oh, yeah. I think she needs to be upfront with her plans because you know, communication is the foreground of any relationship. I think she needs to be upfront and being like, look, I I'm willing to have a baby to and go IBF by myself. If you don't want one, I need you to either be on board. I mean, she's neat.

Paula:

I think the six-month thing, like yeah, I reckon probably that was too long.

Chloe:

She wanted, like, I'm gonna give you six days, and then that's yeah, six months is a lot, like, and I just feel like that's you know, that's another half a year, yeah. So, like, she's 35.

Paula:

Yeah, so she's also pregnant in 2026. Yeah, so she's she's already 35, six months, she could have been 36 by now. You're pregnant for nine months, she's gonna be like 37, yeah, you know, so that's um I have to I've gonna have to read that thing. So hang on. We've got our little helper here, very, very cute, aren't you? Hey, you might need a microphone too. Yeah, all right. So, do you want anyone? Shall we hear the comments? Yeah, what was the top comment? Okay, top comment is that's these ones, hey. The very first one that pops up. Um, yeah, the first. Uh-oh, I lost it. I lost the thing. I lost my thing. That was the longest read. It was really long, yeah. So that top, I think it was this one here. There we go. Yeah. He's wasting your time. This is not the arsehole. Oh, sorry, not the arsehole.

Chloe:

Yeah, then but what you want to do, hey?

Paula:

Not the arsehole. He's wasting your time. This is also why a lot of people say don't buy property with someone who isn't invested, i.e., married or at least kids. Yeah. You're not on the same path as him. I wouldn't even waste a further six months. That's what we were still at. Six months is too long. Because he's already told you he doesn't want to plan or save or do anything other than put money into the house. In six you are in six months, you should already know. And yeah, dangerous. It's never gonna be enough. He's it's like, yeah, he wants house. The house is gonna need repairs or the car's gonna need repairs, so just move on, get your share out of the house equity and move on with your life.

Chloe:

Yeah, I agree with that. I mean, what's six months like okay, six months from today, like the date? Okay, what have you decided? Yeah, you know what I mean.

Paula:

Like someone else has said agreed, so not the arsehole. He stated that he doesn't want kids. Another six months won't change that. He's been lying to her the entire time, and now they have a house together. He doesn't think she'll leave. I wouldn't bring up wanting a child anymore to him, and I was scheduled the first appointment for my first IVF treatment the day after the deadline. At 35 years, it may be difficult to get pregnant, and you might need to try model, but that's what we were talking about. So she's already achieved.

Chloe:

A lot of people on the same thing, we're all over.

Paula:

This okay, so happy cake day. I agree. I can't decide if he wants kids at 36. He thinks that because you have a house together, you'll stay. All his attention is on the house, not what you want. Do you ever need do you know what? I'm not gonna bother reading that. So, like general thing is I is there general consensus is she's not the asshole.

Chloe:

Where do we say if there's an update? Uh sometimes they um will say on the post, like they'll be on the actual post, so it doesn't look like there's an update. Um that's the thing. Yeah, no, no update. Damn. Oh, so there's no update. When does it posted? Four days ago. So fresh.

Paula:

We might we'll have to keep an eye on that one because we might get an update. We need to get an update, but I feel like general consensus is not the asshole, but you just need to be honest, just tell him. Just tell him straight up if this is what's happening. You don't need to go behind his back. No.

Chloe:

And uh and I mean, if you feel like you need to do that anyway at the moment, then is your relationship really worth it? You know, if you feel like you have to go behind your partner's back and do something so life-changing and drastically.

Paula:

Oh, and let's just take a minute to pause. You don't want to bring a child into a relationship already doomed. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Like if she's gonna go into it just her on her own, IVF, be the best mum you possibly can, that's great. Fantastic, well done to you. But to force this fella who's on the fence about whether he wants kids or not, to like at least she hasn't actually done the contraceptive thing and got herself pregnant, because that would be really sad. But like, you know, like you don't want to do that, and then he not love you, and then you can get separated, sell the house. Then it's like traumatizing for the child, and you're like so. I reckon for your future child's mental health, yeah, just go your own way, doll. Yeah, not the asshole.

Chloe:

Yeah, yeah, she's not the asshole. And neither is he, I don't think he is either. Do you know what? To be fair, it's kind of everyone kind of sucks. The situation does, yeah.

Paula:

Yeah, it's you know your paths have crossed and they need to go so. Sounds like things have fizzled out. Yeah. Oh yeah. No one none is the asshole.

Chloe:

Yeah, it's just different, different life or butthole, as she said.

Paula:

Yeah, but I haven't heard that since I was like you butthole. Yeah, so I think it is just the relationship's dead in the water. Yeah, like you said, do the house up, continue. I reckon go tell him what you're doing, go through the IVF, he can be supportive together. Do the house up, sell it, split, big o bango, happy days. Yeah, all right. Okay, I reckon that we pick up.

Chloe:

Okay, and now for our next story, it's Am I the Asshole for dating my ex's wife's late brother's wife?

Paula:

That's right, that was the one I needed to process for a minute or two. I'm onto it now, I'm ready to go.

Chloe:

So this one was actually posted two days ago, and it has since been removed by the moderator of Am I the Asshole. But lucky for you, I screenshotted it when I saw it because I had a feeling that it might get deleted. Oh, that's why you are the brains of the operation. So, Am I the Asshole for dating my ex-wife's late brothers? Three years ago, I had a nasty divorce with my 35 male, with my 35 male wife, 35 male female, does that make sense for you? So three years ago, I had a nasty divorce with my 35 male wife, 35 female, of five years after being together for seven. Later that same year, her older brother passed away from a sudden heart attack in his sleep. I went to his funeral because I like the guy and we were friends. Fast forward to seven months ago, I was scrolling on Tinder when I bumped into his wife. We were always close. She genuinely she's genuinely pretty and a good woman, so I messaged her. She responded half an hour later. We talked for a while. I asked her out on a date, and she accepted and set it up at the restaurant for the next Friday night. The date went pretty well, and so we kept on going on them. And now we're officially dating. Now, she normally doesn't post anything on social media, but last week we were on our first vacation together in Paris, and she posted a story of us together in front of the Eiffel Tower. That's a nice first date. Yeah. Anyway, apparently, she still has my ex-wife and in-laws on her social media, and she was pissed. The ex-wife. Yeah. Later that day, she started messaging and calling us pieces of shit for betraying that's in quotation marks too. Yeah. Betraying her late brother, my girlfriend, told her that it's been three years and she can't expect her to stay single forever. And nobody except her has any say in her life. I told her the same and that I won't be single too. After her, and it's not any of any of her business, who either of us dates. We told to her we loved her brother, but he's dead, and life moves on. And it's been three years. It's been three years. Hang on. We're still going. She started crying and went and cried to her parents. They started accusing my partner of cheating on their son, and we told them that their son is dead and that we're not doing anything wrong. They kept talking, so we blocked all of them. We came back home two days ago, and last night they all came over to our place without notifying us first and started demanding we break up. We kicked them out, which included a lot of yelling and cussing and threatening to call the cops on them. We were were we really wrong though for dating? All these attacks. Hang on, sorry. Oh were we really wrong though for dating? All these attacks, I guess I've gotten into me, and I'm hang on, let me start that again. Were we really wrong though for dating? All these attacks, I guess, have gotten to me like I'm doing something bad or illegal here.

Paula:

That's sad. Is it I feel I actually don't even see a problem? So what what's the thing? They think they're an arsehole for doing it for dating.

Chloe:

Yeah, for dating. Like he's saying that the all the attacks of his ex's wife's family, so from his ex-wife and the family. Because it's her brother. It's her brother that passed, and it's so it's her brother's wife that he's now dating.

Paula:

So like yeah, they're definitely there's a lot of relationships intertwining there, which is a bit out there. That's podcasting with kids. Okay, so my seven-month-old granddaughter's laying on my legs and playing with her feet as we're doing this podcast. She's just popped off on my stomach, and I've just breathed in the stank. Okay, getting it back, getting back on track though. I it's a bit weird that everybody knows each other, but then again, you've got to I don't know. Listening to it, I don't see a problem. The man's been gone, rest his soul, for three years. Yeah.

Chloe:

Can they not be happy that I don't know, and sometimes people might find comfort and love in familiar in familiarity.

Paula:

Exactly. Yeah.

Chloe:

And like, I don't know the circumstance of the ex-wife. It's not like they were, it's not like it's her, yeah, it's her sister-in-law, but it they're not, it's not your biological sister.

Paula:

No, but yeah, no, that's right. There's yeah, there's no one's yeah. Weird to see people you know that were dating other people you know now together. Yeah. So it's weird to see that, but it has been three years, they've not rushed into anything. And I personally would be happy that they found love again.

Chloe:

It's not like going to family outings or anything like that, you know, that's that it's separate from her family now, like they're yeah. I mean, it's weird, I get it, and I feel like they need to like kind of acknowledge that it is probably a little bit weird for the family of their of his ex-wife, you know.

Paula:

Um and maybe, um, excuse me, maybe she should have probably talked it over with him before posting on social media. Yeah, or maybe and the family, let the family know that they were seeing each other so they didn't find out on social media.

Chloe:

Let's see how I feel like when you find things out on social media can be a bit rough. Yeah, yeah.

Paula:

Yeah, I yeah, I as as immediate family members, I think you should know first before you post things on social media straight up. So if anyone's if anyone's done anything wrong or us wholly, it would be the fact that you know she's excited, she's put it on social media, that's fine, but maybe have just let the family know first that what was going on. I don't see a problem with them finding love again the second time around. No, and I would hope that the deceased gentleman would be okay with it. Yeah, you know, she's been able to find love again, and he obviously got along well with the guy, and yeah, and that's all fine. So I I feel like he would be okay with it. Um but maybe the whole social media thing, that's the only thing. Let me that kind of that's like you when you take photos of your kids and stuff like that. You always post them to me first before I see them on social media, which is I really appreciate that. I really uh appreciate seeing my grandkids and you guys doing little family stuff and see the photo first, and then a couple of hours later I see it on social media. Yeah, yeah. I appreciate being you it's it's which it's not like I say anything to you, but I do appreciate seeing them first before the world. Yeah, yeah. So I think I feel like that's probably if anything, that's probably what anyway.

Chloe:

Yeah, top comment. Um, top comment is this post is fake, not hypothetical. That's what someone said. Oh, actually, that was posted by the moderator. Oh no, why they so maybe that's why it was deleted. Stop it. Oh no, oh well, that was a good fake story though.

Paula:

Yeah, kind of disinterested.

Chloe:

Yeah, I kind of don't really need to talk about it anymore. That top actual top comment was they're all nuts, grief will do that, it's sad for them, but you need to ignore or block the rest of the family, and a lot of people on the same side, but okay. Well, unfortunately it was a fake story, and lesson learned.

Paula:

Yeah, but for me, lesson learned is is if you're going to do anything like that, and there's a lot of people that are into family, not incesty, I'm not saying that, but like just your friend and they split up and they go out with another friend and you're in the same friendship group. Let's just let everybody know first before we publicly announce it on social media. Yeah, 100%. All right, moving on to your story. Okay, so let me just get myself ready. I do have my glasses today, so that's a bonus. Well, not today.

Chloe:

I already have them, but every time we go to do something with the podcast, mum forgets her glasses. Always.

Paula:

Okay, so this one, when I read it, I really intrigued, but I am like really cool. But do you know why? Because like this is a generation thing, I still, for the life of me, cannot work out how to find updates. So I will shoot over to Chloe after I've read the story to see if there's an update. Okay, so this is Am I the Arsehole for refusing to pick up my four-year-old from my ex? Okay, here we go. Wait, hang on.

Chloe:

Let me give you my just from the title, I feel like it's a pretty arsehole move. Like, but then you know, like who refuses to pick up their four-year-old from their ex? It's your kid. But is but then I'm like, have you have you read this one? I have indeed.

Paula:

Keep going, keep going.

Chloe:

So then I'm like, I also think that maybe it's you know, maybe the ex is like going out and partying all the time or something, and the other parents are no, like, be a parent. That's right.

Paula:

Anyway, you read up, but I just kind of wanted to put out my feelers. Put a bit in that, yeah, and we'll read on. Okay. I know how the title sounds, but hear me out. I have a four-year-old with my ex. Him and his girlfriend are expecting a baby any day now. It was around 12 a.m. on a Saturday when he called me up and asked me to pick up my son because his girlfriend was in labor. This is midnight. Yeah, okay. I had no problem watching my son, but I'd been out drinking, so I told him I wouldn't be able to pick him up. He needed to be dropped off. They live a five-minute drive away from me.

Chloe:

Oh, okay, yeah.

Paula:

He argued with me and told me I needed to come and pick him up now since she was in labor. I explained to him that I had been drinking and I wouldn't drive to come and pick him up because I didn't feel safe driving myself, let alone with my four-year-old in the car. Obviously. I was perfectly capable of watching him, but he would need to be dropped off since I had had a few drinks. It's also illegal to drive 100% under the influence. 100%, five minutes away. And they're going to the hospital. They're in the car. Detour. Exactly. All right. I told him that while my four-year-old was my responsibility on parenting time, his girlfriend and new baby were not my responsibility. Very cool. Yeah. I also said it would be irresponsible irresponsible of me to drive after I'd had a few drinks. I reated to him that I was willing to take him, but he needed to be dropped off because I would not be driving since I'd had a few drinks. He started yelling at me over the phone, get your ass over here now. So I just hung up and sent him a text that I was home if he decided to drop him off. He ended up dropping him off and then screamed at me in front of our four-year-old. So I took my son inside and locked the door. This whole argument took around 30 minutes. Why he could have just drove the five minutes and dropped him off and been on his way. I honestly feel that I feel sorry for the girlfriend having to have waited longer to go to the hospital. But I was not about to put my son or anyone else in danger because he wanted me to drive while I had been drinking. So am I the arsehole for refusing to pick up my son?

Chloe:

No, no, no, no. And I'm just sitting here thinking, the poor his poor wife who's in labor. Well, I've just given birth seven months ago, and when my borders broke, it the labor just came really fast. Half an hour, things move quite fast in some cases. In my case, it was moving quite fast in half an hour. And that is not fun.

Paula:

Well, for me, 55 minutes. Yeah. First contraction to holding a baby in my arm 55 minutes. I did not have time to hang around.

Chloe:

Yeah, like you never never know. So wouldn't you like, yeah, if you were, I mean, also, if you live five minutes, be like, all right, let's yeah, drop him off on the way to the hospital.

Paula:

Or if not on the way.

Chloe:

You have if I don't know, maybe the wife was having a you know, pre-birth shower or you know, yeah, getting herself organized. You do this, are you fine? I'm gonna go drop XYZ off at such and such's house. I'll be back in like six minutes. Yeah, that's it.

Paula:

But like even if they were on their way to the hospital, it's and then her house, X's house isn't on the way, it's still like ten minutes.

Chloe:

Heck, we dwent through McDonald's drive-through with Indy on the way to the hospital because we needed a little snack, a little frozen coke, and I needed a frozen cake.

Paula:

So, but like, yeah, so like five minutes like 10 minutes max, five minutes there, drop off, quick little exchange, you know, little handover notes, what have you, and then five minutes back, yeah, easy, as opposed to 30 minutes of animosity causing poor little mum to be stress 100%, and also to making X sound like she's a full raging alcoholic. Yeah, all she's done is innocently gone out when it's not her not, yeah. You know, she's not got the kiddo in question, yeah, yeah. And making her feel guilty for just having a few drinks, she doesn't know, nor should she be aware of that's your your child, your responsibility at that time. Suddenly just thinking like what you just said, your child, your responsibility. They should organize it's on his watch. Somebody to come and look like his parents or someone to come over, yeah. Hey, you know, my new partner is just about to have a baby, I'll call you when we instead of relying on the ex. Yeah, yeah, 100%. Anyway, top comment. Right, okay, let me get that up. Uh so I miss sorry. Yeah, the first comment. Yeah. Okay, so document it for future custody reviews. Wanting to drive your son while intoxicated is terrible parenting on his part. That's what we said. So not having a backup plan for his own kid was irresponsible. Or is that his job, not OP's job? Yeah, exactly. That's what we just said. Did he know the due date? He probably should have simply skipped visitation at that. Oh, didn't even think of that one.

Chloe:

Yeah, I got a good idea. I did think that, but then you know, it could be like spontaneous births can happen, like I was two weeks, two weeks. You know, you don't know.

Paula:

That's right.

Chloe:

Yeah. And then I mean that kid then misses out on seeing their dad, like, you know, for a new baby to arrive and those sorts of things. Yeah, and that's like sometimes it can get a bit like daddy loves, yeah.

Paula:

Yeah. So that yeah, but then he actually have to take responsibility for something in his life and he's not giving that kind of person. That's a bit harsh. Yeah. That's a bit harsh. Give cut the guy some slap. Sounds like accountability isn't in his vocabulary, and that's on him, not anyone else. Okay, I just like push, like pause for a second. I think the guy might have been panicked. Yeah. A little bit panicked, maybe this birth came on a little suddenly. A little bit panic, got the kid, best to be with his mum, come over, and then oh great, you've been out drinking. Like it just all sounds like it was poor timing everywhere. Yeah, baby came before they were ready.

Chloe:

Mum had gone out and had lack of drinking communication too, potentially, like you know, yeah.

Paula:

Like, I don't know if anyone's the asshole at the minute. I can't tell.

Chloe:

I don't, yeah, I think no one sucks here.

Paula:

I think he he he could have been a bit kinder to her.

Chloe:

Yeah, oh 100%. I think he sucks definitely in the way that he's causing an argument, especially in front of their four-year-old son, while his wife's in late, his new wife's in late, but that's an asshole move. But she's not the asshole OP.

Paula:

Okay, lots and lots and lots of nah missing one visitation after the birth of another is not the same as not parenting. If the dad had made arrangements with OP ahead of time, it didn't seem like it would have been an issue. 100% that's right, exactly in the big picture. People should have spoken to their ex ahead of time. Yeah, I think all general. Yeah, I don't think anyone is calling her the arsehole for not picking up all directors. We'll just see if there's an update.

Chloe:

I'm gonna go on to so don't think so. There's not one posted on the original post, but let's go to OP's account.

Paula:

Mummy, I'm so excited to go champion. It is gonna be so exciting. Is there an update?

Chloe:

No, there's not an update, but on the on her page, you've got red off my chest and posted a year ago. So when was this story posted? This was posted two days ago. So a year ago, it says I got out in an abusive relationship. Another one, I chose to be a single mother and I'm so much happier. Should we investigate? Let's do that.

Paula:

Oh my lord. Which one? Which one? Oh my gosh, we're finding this out in real time. An abusive relationship because what if that's with him?

Chloe:

Yeah, okay.

Paula:

Because he's already coming in yelling and oh my god, yes, okay. We're riding this wave with you.

Chloe:

Let's go. Okay. It says I got out of an abusive relationship. I was with him for almost four years. We have a two-year-old with him. I have and have a two-year-old with him.

Paula:

This would be this is a year, like he might be.

Chloe:

He made me quit my job since his schedule was erratic and it was the best for both of us. He paid all the bills. He would throw things, scream, yell. I constantly felt like I was on eggshells around him. He cheated on me throughout the whole relationship. He constantly compared me to other women, which put my self-esteem in the trash and made me insecure, making it harder than ever to leave. I got my job back and I got me and my son out. I explained my situation to my boss, and luckily she was willing to work on me, uh, work with me on a schedule. On a schedule. I lost 20 pounds and look and feel great. 5'8, 180 to 160 pounds.

Paula:

Okay, good.

Chloe:

I don't know what pounds are in kilos.

Paula:

Oh, I haven't got my phone with me at the minute so far. I mean, it doesn't matter. Yeah.

Chloe:

Moved in with my mum because it was the fastest way out, and I'm so proud of myself for doing it. It's only been three months, and he already has been seeing someone else. I feel no jealousy or resentment towards her. I feel sorry for her. She had no idea what she's getting into. I hope she sees it before she's in too deep, like I was. He is not healed. He has already admitted having his moments around her. Moments are in quotation marks.

Paula:

As well, she's never had any animosity to the other woman. Yeah.

Chloe:

She also said, I wish I could warn her, but I know if I did, it would come off as I would come off as the crazy ex that just wants him back. So I will pray for her.

Paula:

Oh gosh.

Chloe:

Oh my gosh. Okay, so top comment on this one is watch your back these next couple of months. A lot more women than you think get stalked and or murdered. Worst case scenario, after they freshly get out of an abusive relationship. Not to scare you or anything, but give some raw helpful info. OP replied saying, Thank you. I'm well aware of this, and I have many family members around me all the time because of this. My cousin was murdered by her ex-boyfriend. Oh my god.

Paula:

Oh gosh, this kids getting worse.

Chloe:

Yeah, only four comments on that one. So wasn't it?

Paula:

How long ago is that? That was that was a year ago, yeah. Yeah. Oh, she definitely dodged a bullet with the guy. But she's still not the arsehole for not picking up her son from her ex. He really, really needed to actually take responsibility for the situation. Yeah.

Chloe:

He I feel sorry for his current partner. I do too. So does our OP.

Paula:

OP feel sorry for her.

Chloe:

Yeah, 100%. She's not the asshole. No. And yeah.

Paula:

I reckon he is. I've got I'm calling it he's the asshole.

Chloe:

Yeah.

Paula:

He is okay. Well, I love the rabbit hole that you took us down there, Chloe.

Chloe:

I know.

Paula:

Loved it. I did not expect that one little bit.

Chloe:

No, that how's that for a first podcast? I know. Not first or first lot of stories, and we find some more juicy. I mean, I don't want to say juicy gods, not being juicy, it's sad.

Paula:

At least we help OP know that she is not the asshole here.

Chloe:

Yeah. Yeah.

Paula:

Well, other saucy stuff on that guy.

Chloe:

Yeah. Thank you everyone for listening to our first podcast. That is today's dose of chaos on Mums Gone Wild. Thank you for diving into Reddit's Madness with us today. I'm Chloe. I'm Paula. Remember, we're not therapists, just two mums with zero filters and too many opinions. So subscribe, share, and send us your wild stories because we're always ready to get unhinged again next week. Until then, stay sane or at least stay entertained.

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Chloe

Host
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Paula

Co-host